Dilemma

Shall I go for it or no? Is this the right choice for me? What if I make a wrong decision? Will I regret later or better I lose now? Why in this life we have to face dilemma? It would be better if we have only one choice. No decision making process. How beautiful life before when mom was the one made choice for me. When I cry for toy, she will make decision for me, even if I do not get it, i wont blame myself.

Long term relationship is really challenging. Will we end up tying the knot or no? Putting effort to maintain it is stressful. Does he doing the same like me or no? Looking back the pasts without smile. Is smiling and looking future is guarantee of happy life? 

Again the bad sounds is here, next to my ear. Only God knows and keep me away of this hard time...when it will end..